Brucie Wayne - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Every time I see a Bruce Wayne interview I die. This man is hilarious and also probably what made half the rogues in Arkham decide to go on killing sprees
Brucie : last time I heard from her she was spending her holidays with her Aunt Artica
Interviewer : Antarctica is not a person . It's a continent
Brucie : like ketchup and mustard?
Bruce wayne has dated everyone in the justice league without them knowing he is batman
Bruce, Batman and Brucie are actually three different people. This is not one of those magic shenanigans where he gets split in a bunch of core personality parts. It's like triplets or something. Alfred is the only one that knows about it.
The Batman triplet of them was the one that saw their parents die so he became Batman. He sleeps during the day and has no social skills and speaks basically only in grunts and is mean to everyone, even when he doesn't mean it.
Bruce is the one that saw himself in Dick because of the orphan thing and saw his brother in him too because he knows how Batman got after their deaths. So he brings Dick home and tries to be a good parent but Batman keeps fucking shit up so they have a talk and Batman tries to be a bit better. (He goes back to being a bitch when he worries too much)
Brucie has the unhealthiest coping mechanism of them all (crazy i know), as your usual rich person, he makes himself dumber and sexual, hooks up and dates anyone, loves making scandals. But he is smart, out of the three of them he is the one that deals with WE and makes the deals and treats all the pr shit. He usually helps Batman more than he helps Bruce, since he feels like his personality isn't good for the kids so he lives in the last floor of WE. Like those rich apartment floors.
I think the only way the kids would figure it out would be either:
- Tim already knows but maybe doesn't tell anyone.
- Cass figures it out but also maybe doesn't tell anyone and bonds with Tim over it.
- When Batman "dies", Bruce is still there as is Brucie (making public appearances), because they find out after the fam knows.
Fun Danny at a gala with Vlad
Vlad is on his way of his redemption arc and invited Danny at a gala that Vlad was invited on at Wayne Manor, and Danny thought splitting would be okay again.
So now Danny is here.... The Fun Danny and Fun Danny is not having fun cuz of the suit and all.
Where is the Hero Danny? He's floating around the Manor invisible just in case he sees a villain trying to mess things up cuz apparently, villains tend to attack.
Vlad said it's unnecessary since, you know, Vlad "Ex-creep dracula villain" Masters is here to protect if anything bad happens.
But anyways, Vlad didn't want to meet Bruce but had to come cuz Vlad's got a reputation to keep and Danny was curious about this and sees Brucie Wayne persona and reminded him a liiitttllee bit of Jack Fenton so Fun Danny came to relax a bit and talked with Brucie while Vlad avoids the man and went to get some punch.
Brucie: I didn't know Vlad had a son?
Fun Danny, who likes to exaggerate a lot and mess around: He wished I was so he kidnapped me.
Brucie, thinking it was some inside joke: Oh? When did that happen?
Fun Danny: When he finally stops trying to kill my dad, marry my mom and cloning me.
Brucie, who is now realizing that this kid may not be lying but also lying: That's... That's strange...?
Fun Danny: Could be worse— *Cue on the ceiling gets broken due to Hero Danny's impact falling*
Hero Danny, who is wrestling a villain: Run, weak humans! Theres a villain!
Fun Danny, who is looking at Hero Danny and Hero Danny catching the eye contact: Oh no.
Hero Danny: You! Normal citizen I never heard or met before! You gotta help me!
Fun Danny: Really?! Me?? Why not Vlad!?
Hero Vlad: I see no hero in him
Vlad: I heard that!
DC Super Hero Girls has given me many things. But by far my favorite thing is they have the best incarnation of Bruce Wayne. And I say that not as like oh this is 10000% who Batman is.
No. I mean they have the best version of billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. Better than even the movies have gotten for one sole reason;
I want you to take one look at this bougie himbo, one fucking look,
And tell me who in their right mind would believe this man is the goddamned Batman.
He is too pretty. Too well put together. Too big a himbo. Too covered in fucking camera crews and groupies to ever pull it off. No one would ever even fucking consider this gem of a man could do it!
But he does and it works so fucking well.
And, oh my God, it's my new favorite thing.
Considering the fact jaybin was a lit nerd who loved going to school, and the fact he never got to finish highschool for cause of death, I present: Jason was rumoured to be the hope for the wayne braincell... Until he met his untimely death. Now years later, there is a new braincell amongst the waynes, and Jason Todd's miraculous revival has been revealed- except he is. Uh. Waynified, for lack of a better term. Was this really the kid the English teacher they interviewed claimed argued in class about Catherine and Heathcliff's relationship? Just this week at a gala, somebody dared ask him who his favourite Brontë sister was, and he replied "isn't that like a place in New York?" It's almost as if the circumstances of his death had robbed him of his intellect...
But if unnatural airheadedness is the price to pay for resurrection, what does this mean for Brucie Wayne? What really happened that night, all those years ago, in that alley in Park Row? Did poor little Richie Grayson-Wayne survive the fall that condemned his parents? What shadows lie upon the adoptions of Tim Drake-Wayne and Cassandra Wayne, and the fostering of Duke Thomas? Is the Wayne family cursed? And most importantly, does this foretell Damian's Wayne tragic impending doom...
New headcanon that the whole family carries on their own versions of the Brucie Wayne persona in order to keep up appearances, giving the whole family a reputation of a bunch of beautiful idiots. Everyone EXCEPT Damian. He understands the necessary evil of it, but he can't. He can't do it y'all it's beneath him.
So this child, who is known among the other children at his school to talk like he swallowed a dictionary and get into screaming matches with his history teachers, gets the title of The Wayne Family's Single Brain Cell. This is furthered by the fact that every time he's seen in public he has an exhausted expression on his face like
He becomes a localized meme. The Baby Wayne, fighting for his life every day against his family of well meaning morons.
What's the difference between Bruce Wayne and Brucie Wayne?
Brucie: "Date someone who would wake you up and watch the sunrise with you at 3a.m~"
Bruce: "If anyone, and I mean anyone wake me up at 3 fucking a.m just to watch the fucking sunrise, they will be gone."
PT. 17 Gotham Twitter AU
A month (four days) without uploading and he comes back with a tag (new post).
Sorry yall, my noggin ran out of funny haha juice, so I needed 3-4 business days to refill it.
Posts may be coming in slower from now on, but don't worry I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
<<Part 16<< Master List >>Part 18>>
Gotham Twitter AU Pt. 20
Had maruchan without tapatio today, and it was a very sad experience.
<<Pt. 19<< Master List >>Pt. 21>>
Gotham Twitter AU Pt. 23
Soft, loving, and tame to balance out the last update 😁
<<Part 22<< Master List >>TBC>>