Peter Bi Parker - Tumblr Posts
This isn't what I was on this website for but the wiki entry on Peter Parker's weaknesses is annihilating me.
BUG SPRAY, UNLUCKY, CAN'T DRIVE.
IF YOU RAID ME IN THE FACE I FALL OVER TOO I'M NOT SURE THAT'S A BUG THING.
Sue: i spy something beginning with ‘s’!
Ben: sunshine?
Sue: no, not sunshine
Ben: *looks at Peter and Johnny fighting*
Ben: sexual tension?
Johnny in telephone: hello?
kidnapper: we kidnapped your boyfriend
Johnny: did you kidnap peter?!!
kidnapper: yes we have him now–
Johnny to peter by your side: Peter kidnapped you!!!
Peter: Really?! oh my god help!!!
Ben: ...
teacher to students: ok guys, tell me what was the stupidest thing you did?
Harry, Liz, Gwen, MJ, Felicia, Flash, Eddie, Johnny: Peter Parker.
Peter: ???
Peter watching flash and Johnny at training: why do I have a crush on himbos?
MJ still reading: because you are one.
I DISAGREE!!!
Peter Parker is actually into with great bosses!!
Gwen Stacy short tough girl crazy as hell boss too much
Felicia Hardy a total bitch mean boss
Harry Osborn a billionaire ceo boss like 50 shades of gray
Wade Wilson a somewhat toxic boss but still a boss
Johnny Storm is a walking star, leader of a powerful army, supreme boss
and of course Mj Watson also known as the boss of bosses has nothing to say
Peter Parker is into blondes
Peter watching flash and Johnny at training: why do I have a crush on himbos?
MJ still reading: because you are one.
teacher to students: ok guys, tell me what was the stupidest thing you did?
Harry, Liz, Gwen, MJ, Felicia, Flash, Eddie, Johnny: Peter Parker.
Peter: ???
Peter: only those who can't guarantee a famous boyfriend go to college
Peter to Johnny: right?
Peter: famous lapdog
Johnny: We just got to stop hanging out with geniuses because you're going to figure out that I'm really stupid.
Peter: What? Don't worry about that. I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Johnny: (thinks about that for a sec) Hmmm
Peter: What I just said is true and yet it really sounded wrong. What I should say is I don't care how stupid you are.
Johnny: then. we broke the rule
Peter: yes I hope it’s not a mistake
Johnny: “I hope I’m not a mistake” Title of your sex tape
Johnny: *GASP* title of our sex tape
Reeds: I’m glad Johnny finally befriended Spider-Man and now they’re going to fight together. Hopefully this will curb his destructive tendencies and he’ll stop acting out for attention…
Reeds, later that day: Oh God, there are TWO OF THEM.
Peter: look, you have to take it chill!!
johnny: got it, no more marriage proposals
peter: and without big gestures
johnny: right! right...
*explosion sound*
peter: *tries to look back*
Johnny: Don't look back! just look to the future for our future you don't need to look back!!
peter: *turns*
fireworks: I love you peter!!!
johnny: pfft it has nothing to do with me, it must be another peter
fireworks: from johnny
johnny: haha! must be another johnny!
fireworks: storm
johnny: hahahaha!! what are the odds!!
fireworks: *johnny face*
johnny nervous looking at peter: ...
johnny: *cute face*
peter sigh: *smiling* johnny...
_ Do you think we are lovers in all universes?
_ yes...
