Proud Of My Progress - Tumblr Posts
KIA RAMBLES WHOOOOO, INCLUDES VENT LOL jfkfudgdf WARNING: MOOD SWINGS (I THINK) check tags before just in case???
Man, you know, I certainly picked this life because of writing. I just love thinking of my stories. Yapping and rambling about them with that one girl, Posting my rambles on my Instagram stories like:
THAN THOSE ARE MY THREE FRIENDS, I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM (THO I BARELY EVER COMMUNICATE WITH THE CAT PHOTO ONE) I HAVE MORE FRIENDS. I EVEN SOMEHOW MANAGED TO BE FRIENDS WITH A BOY THAT I HAD A FRIEND CRUSH ON. And I am the ‘shy kid’ in class so that’s shocking. (I am not the shy kid, I just stay in my lane. I do presentations well)
Like no one expect the one in the middle has any idea on what in the dictionary of womanary am I talking about (Making my own words because I am too lazy)
I love this. I love talking about writing. I love being proud of my writing. I love being insecure of it because at least I feel some emotions hah- It boosts up my ego too.
Like do you ever write something so good you are like- Oh my…. I think I just… created an Ao3 level piece of art.
I was sulking, on the verge of depression. Couldn’t show an inch of emotion to my mother who had let me eat my favourite lunch meal (I really don’t allow myself to get attach to her because I don’t wanna be hurt again and again but I feel like such a bad person. So I sometimes utter ‘I love you’ when I don’t mean it, and for some reason in makes me want to pull my heart out of my chest.) Even though I am not supposed to eat anything unhealthy because I just recovered from Typhoid and my body has extremely low blood.
Writing makes me alive. Alive. Alive. It distracts me. Takes me away from this life, reading other stories isn’t exactly the same. I usually can’t keep up, I feel anxious. Reading makes me realise I am wasting time and could be doing something much much more productive. Finals are in 1 month and 5 days and I studied nothing. It’s draining me. I should go and do it, but… ugh I can’t explain it’s irritating. Father says a lot of things. He would say I don’t have Control over my own life in a spooky scary way that will traumatise me for the rest of my life. He would say something about my health, he recently said that I had a mentality of a six year old; he will say how I am not controlling my mind. And stuff like that. Believe in yourself, that I very well do. It’s much worse that way actually, because you know how much potential you have, yet you are wasting it.
I am tired, I don’t have time. My room is cleaned, yet I feel empty. I am so so tired yet I do nothing. I am too write. I am lazy I suppose. I should be studying. None of the tricks and tips I leaned from online works. I need energy. Something. Actually no, I am too tired to even handle anything. Maybe I should sleep, but I am not sleepy, and sleeping will mess me up more because of the guilt for losing time. How ironic, as if I won’t be wasting my time on reels or sth.
fall in love with the path of deep healing 💐
herbs for anxiety <3
the art of constant evolution 🫀
truly, connection has no recollection of time or space 🫀
the continuous art of understanding oneself
40 Examples of Self Abandonment 🤕👎💭💔
Self-abandonment means not taking care of yourself, your needs, and your feelings. It's like ignoring what's good for you and not being kind to yourself normally in a way that benefits everyone but you.
Not eating well or exercising.
Pretending to be happy when you're not.
Working too much without breaks.
Staying in a bad relationship.
Letting people use you.
Forgetting about things you enjoy.
Not saying what you want.
Always doing things for others.
Not asking for help when you're sad or stressed.
Being alone when you need friends.
Saying mean things to yourself in your head.
Giving up your dreams for others.
Avoiding problems instead of solving them.
Never taking time to relax.
Ignoring how you look or feel.
Not asking for help when things are too hard.
Trying to be perfect all the time.
Doing things that hurt you, like drugs or danger.
Changing who you are to fit in.
Not being yourself and doing what others want.
Ignoring your body when it needs rest or sleep.
Letting others make decisions for you all the time.
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside.
Surrounding yourself with people who bring you down.
Not pursuing your interests or hobbies.
Saying "yes" to everything, even when you're overwhelmed.
Putting up with disrespect or mistreatment from others.
Not giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.
Skipping important appointments or check-ups.
Holding onto grudges and negative emotions.
Comparing yourself unfavorably to others.
Not taking breaks when you're stressed.
Neglecting your financial well-being and overspending.
Ignoring signs of burnout or exhaustion.
Avoiding seeking help for mental health struggles.
Ignoring your own intuition and gut feelings.
Overcommitting and spreading yourself too thin.
Constantly seeking validation from others.
Letting fear hold you back from trying new things.
Dwelling on past mistakes and not forgiving yourself.