Antidepressants - Tumblr Posts
How to Disappear Completely
Ohhh, life is so fun and cute when you're medicated! Grocery shopping is so cozy core... with my little swinging basket of herbs... why did nobody tell me? (because I have been medicated before)
All of this medication I've shoved down my throat has been for the benefit of others~
"you're so aggressive"
"I'm sick of your mood swings"
"maybe you need to go on medication"
Well I did and now it's altered me past the point of return, but at least you were happy
Ah yes! Antidepresants!
You can't be depressed if you are uncouncious...
God knew if he made me not have treatment resistant depression, that I would become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. Or, a rant.
I'm going through Venlafaxine/Effexor withdrawals and HOLY FUCK this is terrible, I spent months tapering down to 75mg but I couldn't wait any longer to get off this capsule of hell. But now I'm going to try Bupropion AKA Zyban which isn't covered by the PBS for depression, it's only covered for smoking cessation, which makes no fucking sense bc its apparently quite an effective antidepressant, which means that it costs ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT SIX DOLLARS (186 AUD or 125USD) which means that I'll probably only try this one only until the box runs out bc I do NOT have the money to spend on a medication that, with my luck, wont even fucking work and I'll feel waaay too guilty if my dad pays for it, even though he can afford it and it is his legal obligation... so my options for treating my depression, not including therapy bc that is also too expensive and I'm too self aware for it to work, are:
spend over 1,200 dollars per year and take the Bupropion/Zyban, if it does work.
try MAOIs, which means I'll have to go through MORE withdrawals and most likely have to stop taking my ADHD meds.
try and see if Ketamine therapy is legal where I live for minors and just in general, then try and get a job to pay for it bc holy shit it is expensive.
try even MORE SSRI's even though I've already tried six different ones since I was eight years old and I'm almost seventeen.
try electroconvulsive therapy, which will most likely not be covered by either my insurance OR Medicare and will one hundred percent cost a LOT of money to have done regularly.
and my final option, which is to follow in the footsteps of my paternal half siblings and all my paternal first cousins, which would be succumbing to drug addiction as a way to numb myself and pretend that everything is fine.
Basically, I'll either spend a ton of money which I do not have, and also need to save for top surgery, which may or may not end up actually treating me, or I follow in the footsteps of pretty much everyone on my dads side of the family and repeat the cycle of generational trauma.
So, either way, I am absolutely fucked.
I am going to do a blood test tomorrow! After that I will probably get my antidepressants. Just wanted to share those news with someone Haha.
I'm such a mess, why would anyone want to bring that into his life?
my doctor says i could have pmdd and if that's the case I will probably have to stop taking estrogen, since prog didn't help and moclobemide didn't help. honestly feeling really scared
i think what’s on a person’s nightstand is very telling so reblog this and put in the tags the things you have on your nightstand
question for elder punks:
im a baby punk and I take meds (antidepressants and anxiety meds), is it acceptable to take these and get them from a pharmacy (only spot their dealt out bc prescription) and still be punk, or does that go against the anti-capitalism belief (which I do believe in plenty).
If it is against the core beliefs, any other place I can get them?
// tw //
the anti depressants are working in the lone way that less of us are likely to try attempting suicide... they have done absolutely nothing else for the desire to...try..that, but at least nothing will come of it!
I wanna cry really bad so that way I can get all of my emotions out but I can’t cause of the antidepressants I’m on.
friendly reminder for those on antidepressants that you have an increased risk of heat stroke this summer so please stay hydrated and wear a hat, invest in one of those cool pads and be careful during long walks outside!
That moment when your on medication and you have to check if drinking energy drinks will kill you if mixed with your pills ✌️ sounds like it probably won't so that's nice
how to tell i skipped my medicine last night: my eyes get watery very easily. what a beautiful sunrise, i'm gonna cry. this academic text is so well-written /sobbs/. there's jeanne of arc on the bookcover about jeanne of arc, lemme just /bursts into tears/
i was born a beast, which is a danger to oneself; this is why i have to put it to sleep along with wild flowers under the dusty snow of medicine. however, sometimes i wonder: what if i can feel the true taste of life in the spring, when the beast and the wild flowers are awakened; when my teeth are white and bare and tearing tissues; when my scream echoes up a staircase; when jealousy turns me into a witch with pale face, locks sticking to the wet forehead, and eyes sharper than a dagger? what if the salt of my tears is the taste of life's blood?
my mind is a highland nunnery, and, like in every nunnery, there's a devil hiding in between the bell ringings. in the morning the air smells painfully clear on the edge of a cliff.
the mountain peaks should always be covered with snow to prevent this primal insanity from descending and making me drunk on the taste of it.
my therapist found out what is tumblr and she wants to sign up on Tumblr bc she will be checking what do people post on Tumblr. I afraid and I hope she won't check my tumblr account
vodka and mountain dew >>>