Disordered Eating - Tumblr Posts

PSA

-OCD is not a synonym for neat or preoccupied with tidiness. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is all about distressing intrusive thoughts and rituals (compulsions) used to combat those thoughts.

-Intrusive thoughts are not synonymous with silly things I want to do. They're deeply upsetting, often taboo mental apparitions. Letting them win is the last thing anyone wants, and nobody is immoral for having them. (See 'impulsive thoughts' if you need a term.)

-Anorexic is not a synonym for thin or emaciated. The majority of anorexic people have OSFED atypical anorexia – that is, their BMI is above 18.5. You cannot judge the severity of someone's illness by their appearance. (If you're worried about someone, look out more for rapid weight loss than thinness, even when it's occurring in someone in a larger body. 10kg in 10 weeks is never a good thing.)

-Eating disorders are not synonymous with just anorexia and bulimia. Anorexia is an ED, but it's nowhere near the most common. Bulimia is an ED, but again, not the most common. Together, they do not constitute the most common. The most common ED is binge-eating disorder, and the second most common is atypical anorexia, which is one of many, many OSFED categories. Those living with ARFID, pica, night-eating syndrome, rumination disorder, subthreshold BN, subthreshold BED, and orthorexia all deserve dignity, compassion, and acknowledgement. Remember: EDs are not necessarily thin, and never glamorous.

-Schizophrenic is not a synonym of all over the place, abnormal, unpredictable, dangerous, or crazy. Nor is schizoid or schizotypal. Folks with schizophrenia spectrum disorders live with hallucinations, delusions, disorganised thoughts/behaviour, and/or catatonia. They are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators, and go to huge lengths to act okay even when distressed by symptoms.

-Schizophrenic is also not a synonym of multiple personalities/volatile. For the disorder involving having different facets of personality that are generally unaware of each other, see Dissociative Identity Disorder, and even then, don't assume it's a) dramatic as it is in the movies; b) evil; or c) trivial. DID is a trauma disorder.

-Delusional is not a synonym of wrong. Nor is it the same as this politician/friend is saying something I do not like/that is potentially dangerous. Delusions are false, fixed beliefs held despite evidence. And generally, folks with delusions don't tend to proselytise them. I know that certain politicians have beliefs that seem to persist in the face of evidence, but nevertheless, we don't need to stigmatise mental illness further to call out poor political/social behaviour. If you need a word for the pundit spewing potentially dangerous content, use 'dangerous' or 'wrong', but don't call them delusional.

-Bipolar is not a synonym of all over the place or fluctuating results. Bipolar disorder involves mood states that, even in the rapid cycling form, tend to last at least 3-4 days (mania) and weeks (depression). If you need a word for the weather, use 'British' instead.

-Psychotic is not a synonym of evil. Psychosis is losing touch with reality, whether it be through hallucinations or delusions. It doesn't make a person bad or violent. It's just a neurological phenomenon that may be distressing. It's also relatively common: 6-15% of people will hallucinate in their lifetime.

-ADHD is not a synonym of just quirky/scattered/forgetful/unfocussed/lazy/careless. ADHD is fundamentally a disorder of being able to choose where to direct attention, rather than of just I can't focus. If someone can't tune out the noise of the crowd, but can't prevent themself focussing on something trivial because their brain is wired that way, it's not laziness or just being quirky/scattered.

-Autistic meltdown is not a synonym of temper tantrum.

-Borderline is not a synonym of harridan.

-Narcissist is not a synonym of abuser.

-Mentally ill is not a synonym of volatile or bad person. This doesn't mean we have to make something artificially positive out of mental disorders. If there is good to be found in certain disorders, great; if there is nothing positive about living with certain others, that doesn't make you any less real or resilient than anyone else. It's okay to have complex feelings about your own disorders. It's okay to feel exhausted or frustrated by a disorder. But never should anyone have to face stigma.

Tw - fat shaming

When he thought, at one point, i had put on too much weight he told me he would not stick with a woman who let herself go.

According to him, men don't like bigger women. In fact all men really like the same body type - very thin. Any man who says otherwise is just saying so for woke points.

Men who date bigger girls do so because they lack the confidence to pursue "better" women.

He didn't lack confidence, so I had to nip that issue in the bud. Or accept the consequences.

So much reprogramming to do

So I'm starting to recover (barely) from whatever this stomach thing was and from some terrible corners of my brain I keep hearing:

" Oh good! I bet this shrank your stomach! "

" You've consumed less than half a day's worth of calories over 4 days; you're going to see some great results"

"Could you eat like this permanently?"

"Some clouds have a silver lining, you know..."

A thin co worker of mine struggling with an eating disorder scoffed at me, a plus sized person, when I told him I have trouble eating enough as well. I admitted this to him in an attempt to reach out, relate, be kind and offer a safe space for him. Yet that's the reaction I received because I'm fat.

I'm so done with fatphobic stereotypes.

To all the self hating Christians out there with self destructive habits and addictions... like me... I have a proposal.

When you make a mistake. Or remember a past mistake. Or discover you've been making continual mistakes without realizing. Or get stuck in a terrible memory. Or the mirror mocks and distorts you. Or you suddenly feel an overall wave of disgust towards yourself, for whatever reason that may be... instead of not eating or cutting or slamming your head into a wall or otherwise punishing yourself...

Pray. Take a moment to breathe and pray.

I want you to pray for grace.

Because our God's grace is sufficient. His blood was spilled for your imperfections thousands of years ago in anticipation for this very moment of human inadequacy and every other that is sure to come in your lifetime. There is no need to spill your own.

Honor His sacrifice. Thank God for His grace.

Hey everyone! I have a big favor to ask.

I need you to report someone.

One of my posts about the toxicity of fatphobia stereotypes was recently reblogged by a user called @/lagoonadelrey. In the post I was expressing the difficulty of others not taking disordered eating habits seriously unless you're skinny. Her response was "cuz u eat plenty and it shows w ur fat."

Upon a closer inspection, her ENTIRE PAGE is DEDICATED to the demeaning of fat people. Even admitted that in one of her reblogs. Her response to my post was tame in comparison to others. People sharing their insecurities online and her replying things like "yes because you're a fat bitch and no one will love you."

As both punks and Christians in this community (sometimes both😉)... I'm sure I don't have to tell any of you that it's our responsibility to put an end to hate speech.

If we can get enough people to report her, we can stop the possibility of an already insecure person's mental health being further crushed by the hateful, unintelligent, cruel babble of an uneducated and indoctrinated individual. Here's a link to her page:

Reblog the hell out of this!

Let's end fatphobia!

@fatphobiabusters @thisisthinprivilige @oncealoseralwaysaloser @safety-pin-punk @when-you-cant-think-of-anything @purplebehittindifferent @prunpplee @funnyartthingz

I'm choking down this water

Even though my stomach

Hurts worse than it ever has

And I need to focus on my health

But health has never been the plan.

Everyone should take the time to read this- but especially thin allies in the body positivity movement to end fatshaming who sympathize but haven't experienced fatphobia directly. Great insight into the mindset of fat people who want to be healthy, but have bad relationships with food that have been pushed on them by society.

SORRY FOR THE VERY PERSONAL COMIC!!

This is my half of “Unhealthy”, an essay comic double header with the lovely and talented Sarah Winifred Searle. She and I both wrote about our personal experiences as overweight ladies with eating disorders, and her story is breathtaking! You can buy a physical copy of the book here: https://topatoco.com/collections/abby-howard/products/ah-unhealthy

Or buy a digital PDF here: https://abbyhoward.itch.io/unhealthy

Hey, guys. I don't usually post anything about my personal life on this page, and if I do it's usually vague, but I'm curious to get some thought, and maybe support, from the community during this next stage of my life.

I've battled with fairly major mental illness for at least half of my life but never had the option to attempt recovery or even address the issue in general. However, recently I have all but lost my ability to function and there seems to be no other option left but to seek help. I'll be having my first ever therapy session this month, and to be honest, I don't think I've even fully comprehended that yet. Feels like I have years worth of secrets, symptoms and stories to unbury from the depths of suppressed memory...

Does anyone have any advice, tips or thoughts on beginning therapy? Where to start? What to avoid? How to go about opening up? Good therapists versus bad therapists? I'll take anything you guys got.

Thanks 🖤🖤🖤

When food becomes your enemy

TW:ED This blog is my way of empowering myself to open up about my disordered eating and help anyone who feels alone. Read more to know about my journey when food became my enemy.

We all have agendas for every day – be it written or productive, there is at least a subconscious plan for each day. We usually remember the important chores and activities to do. But what happens when you start to consciously jot down “eat less” or “don’t eat a lot” every day? What happens when every single day you keep letting yourself down by eating “more” than you planned for or eating the…

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body reference/claim.  ˎˊ˗             i don't know how to describe things so u Will look at my video game barbie model of allie instead. version one (top version) is without the height slider mod and is a normal sim's height. allie is not a normal sim's height, she is 4'11, so i used the height slider mod to try to emulate how she would actually look. the mod does that weird ass thing with her knees so clearly it is not Perfect but hopefully this helps. this is not really important it is just me trying to paint a picture of allie as clear in your heads as i can. (all i ever wanna do. it's a full time job 😔😔) please note that allie often has disordered eating patterns, neglects her own needs, and faced a lot of malnourishment in her youth. her bmi teeters from '''''unhealthy''''' to ''''healthy'''' and while obviously that is a loose guide and frequently inaccurate guide to being a healthy weight, i just want to make it clear that there are no intentions of glamorizing an unachievable body or ed lifestyle. she is naturally petite, in addition to all of the other things. another additional note is how allie views herself and specifically her body, and how she often objectifies herself. i've talked about this before in other posts, but just. the relationship she has with her body is not a healthy one.             the scars on her back are also not entirely accurate, allie's scars are a little bit longer and a little bit straighter, but the placement is right.

he comforts you

prompt: “it was 2am, he was spending his time building his minecraft world - that is until you showed up at his doorstep crying”

pairing: kozume kenma x reader

word count: 983

warnings: tw! depression, reader explains how they feel and it’s not nice, mommy issues, self harm in the form of disordered eating

genre: angst, fluff

NOTE: its a bit short because this drabble is just me dumping all of my emotions out, it’ll get kind of dark, so sorry in advance. also this is based on my situation, but if you feel the same, please feel free to message me. not proof-read

it was 2am.

you were walking to your boyfriend’s house, tears streaming down your face after yet another argument with your mother

this time it was because you never sleep during the night, opting to sleep during the day instead

if only she knew she was the reason you slept the days away.

kenma knew of your mental health

he knew how hard days could get for you and he always tried to be there as much as he could, showing his support in every possible way if it meant it made you feel better. but sometimes, you couldn’t help and shut him out.

he could never break your shell when you got that way, isolating yourself in your own room, not showing any signs of life at all, and it pained him, truly, but all he could do was wait it out until you came to him again.

he still supported you - of course. he texted you every day, reminding you to eat meals, reminding you to brush your teeth and drink water.

sometimes he even stopped by your house to make sure you were still alive - your mother usually being the one to open the door, claiming that “they’re only in bed, no chance of getting to her. being lazy - as usual.”

it irked him to no end.

you weren’t lazy. you were struggling and she was one reason for it.

she was the reason yet she had the guts to talk bad about you.

he usually just dropped off something he wanted to give you, your mother bursting into your room and giving you whatever he brought, but not leaving without starting another argument.

other days, he would (politely) shove past your mother, walking to your room and just laying with you,

no words needed to be exchanged - he already knew. 

but lately, nothing seemed to be stopping you from closing yourself off.

it came to a point where he was truly worried for your health, fearing you didn’t take care of your body as he wished you would

so when he heard the doorbell ring at 2am, he was surprised, but he immediately knew it was you

when he opened the door, only to reveal you, who had been obviously crying a lot, judging by the red and puffy eyes, his gaze softened and he immediately pulled you inside the warmth of his home, away from the dangers the outside world held.

 you immediately broke down crying when he pulled you into a warm hug

“-kenma, what do i do?...” you cried out

he sighed softly, patting the top of your head gently 

“tell me what’s on your mind, angel? only then can i try to help.” he spoke softly, guiding you towards his room, pulling you down on the bed when you arrived, once again wrapping his arms around you 

“i just.. i feel so h-hopeless? lately, i have no motivation to get out of bed because my mother strikes up a fight every time she sees me- all i want to do is sleep.. i’m awake at night, wondering where i went wrong and why i don’t deserve a loving mother too, i sleep during the day only for my mom to wake me up at 6pm to yell at me about how lazy i am-” you stopped, a sob ripping through your lungs

kenma raked his fingers through your hair, letting you know he was listening, giving you the space to speak when ready

“a-and school work’s been piling up.. i think i’m failing most of my classes, but i’m scared to check.. i do-n’t remember the last time i checked my assignments.. all i do is cry all day, i don-’t even eat anymore, i just can’t get up to eat..”

he sighed softly, hand reaching to wipe at your tears 

“y/n, i need you to listen to me carefully. i know how hard it is - and i promise you deserve a loving mother too, it breaks my heart to see you suffer because of her.. but you can’t listen to what she says. as hard as it sounds, you’re not required to keep anyone in your life, even if it’s your mother. you’re allowed to cut her off - of course, it’s a bit hard right now, considering you still live with her, but until then, i’ll need you to stay strong for me and not let yourself get teared down by her harsh words and actions, ok? you’re so much more worth than what she makes you think. as hard as it is, i’ll be here with you, supporting you through whatever stones life throws at you. you will not feel like this forever, pain is temporary, as for your school work.. i can try and help you get back on track, but grades do not define your self-worth so don’t feel like you failed, you need to prioritise your mental health over your grades. i will be here to help you get back up on your feet and i’m happy to be, i’ll teach you how to love yourself, and it’ll be a long way, but you can do it, alright? i’ll forever be here, y/n, i love you.”

he then pulled you up to him, tugging you in a gentle kiss full of love

after he pulled away, he stood up, leaving the room, only to return with a glass of water and some snacks, smiling at you

you sniffled, also smiling

“thank you so much, kenma. i love you”

he shook his head, laying down beside you again 

“think you can stay over for a few days?”

you smiled softly, shrugging “probably, just need to get my stuff.”

just like that, kenma brought back the light that was slowly diminishing in your life, and for the first time in a long time you felt hopeful.

requests: open

read rules before requesting.

This. This needs to be recognized. I’ve been trying to try new foods lately even though it’s so hard and so frustrating because I can only deal with like 1/20 of them, but dang, when people make comments like this it’s so uncomfortable— “Yea, I don’t like this stuff either, but I’m so hungry.” & “You said you were hungry, why aren’t you eating?” & “What, so you’re just gonna starve?”

I’m so grateful that I have irl friends who don’t judge me for not eating normally. When my one friend makes burgers at a watch party, we’ve established I don’t eat them, and he tries to keep plain tortilla chips around for yours truly. That’s friendship. Because I really wouldn’t be able to eat the burgers, even though they smell nice and I think it’s neat that he makes them! I’d love to participate… but I just can’t.

I made myself eat a granola bar recently. Least bad brand I could find. It took me an hour, a lot of coaxing, and I almost threw up three times.

If I got hungry enough for it, I would genuinely eat paper before eating ham, sausage, corn, or any godforsaken casserole. Again, even if I tried to eat this stuff, it’s not about whether I want to, my body physically rejects it and I’ll just throw up, then I’ll be worse off than I was at the start!

How hungry would you have to be before you’d eat, say… a live worm? Feel it squirm in your mouth and chomp down? That’s how hungry I’d have to be before I could choke down a snickers.

It’s not a choice. I’m not just “picky.” I understand that it’s difficult, frustrating, hard to wrap your head around, but BELIEVE ME, I’m more frustrated than you are. Don’t judge me if I swing by McDonalds before we meet up. I’m not making you eat whatever I eat, all I ask is to be given the same courtesy. Just leave it alone.

Kind of a random hill to die on rn but "You'd eat this thing you hate if you got hungry enough" does not set a reasonable expectation of what "hungry enough" means for people with food problems.

Like, are we talking "stomach grumbling" hungry enough, or "can't stand up" hungry enough? Cause personally, I can make myself eat a bit of a pork chop if I'm barfy and shaking and can't see straight anymore, but if it's down to "black out for three days and wake up angry and confused" or "willingly swallow prosciutto", I'm having sleep for dinner. And I know this from experience.

People without food problems don't seem to understand this and it drives me insane. "Hungry enough" is for shit like chewing drywall because the alternative is death or cannibalism.

If I say I can't eat something, It means I can't eat it. It Is Not Edible To Me. It's not even appetizing. It literally does not register as food. You might as well hand me a rubber duck.

And it's frustrating!! Trust me, I wish I wasn't like this, too!! This isn't a choice!! I know it can be rude!! It's embarassing!! It's complicated and annoying and irrational!! That doesn't fix the problem!!

I just wish people didn't treat this sort of thing as "being picky" or lacking willpower or basic manners or something. I can't make myself eat certain foods the way you probably couldn't cut your own fingers off. Does that make sense? It's not just food. Fuck

it’s never too late to start again. 5pm on a thursday can be your new monday. you don’t have to wait until the new year to better yourself. time is an illusion, don’t forget that. just because you woke up at 1pm, it doesn’t mean you messed your whole day up and that you can’t turn the mood around. it’s never too late to start again!!!

stats★*☆♪

tw:ed

pronouns: she/they

age: 22

height: 165cm / 5' 5"

hw: 80kg

lw: 62kg

cw: 60.8kg (28/09/24)

gw1: 69kg

gw2: 62kg

gw3: 56kg

ugw: 49kg

been slowly getting back into some @n@ habits so I'll be using this blog to keep track^^

will i get kicked out this time?

recently.

(btw i need mutuals)

chapter 3: where does desperation lead?