Anxitey - Tumblr Posts - Page 3

Lil vent thing cause I was thinking abt this moment recently

Holy shit this!

“your brain is the most efficient computer there is”

yeah but can it run doom??

I have had a cup of liquid anxiety and now I am worried about everything

I just wanted to post something I just realized.

I've suffered from depression and anxiety for all of my life, I'm 21 years old and didn't have a great childhood.

Once I finally started taking care of my mental health by getting on anti-depressants and anxiety meds I was starting to feel better. I also started to go to walk in counselling.

I thought it wasn't having a big impact on my mental health until just now.

I've been dressing up more often instead of just staying in pjs all day, I've started cleaning up my rooms more regularly and decorating them, I've been doing more hobbies aside from video games all day, and the one thing I thought wouldn't happen is to question my sexuality.

I've even started cooking food for myself, like homemade hash browns, omelettes, and just helping my mom with dinner prep and cooking to learn more.

Change doesn't happen quickly, but once you see it, you feel it and it feels great.

You know, sometimes I wonder if I'm faking who I am. Like if I'm actually Non-binary, if I'm actually queer, if I'm actually depressed, and if I'm actually anxious.

Then I sit there and think: "Well, I don't want to be anything other than Non-binary. It makes me happy. I don't want to be anything but queer. Thinking about being in a hetero relationship makes me uncomfortable. It'd be so much easier to not be anxious and depressed, I wouldn't have to take medication then. Two different professionals agreed that I have these issues."

I think I'm critical of myself. I would believe anyone else who told me that thier those things, so why don't I believe myself? Just a little ramble into the never-ending hell sight that is tumbler

Imparable

Lo hice de nuevo, perdí el control, me encerré y deje todo salir, quizás una lagrima larga corrió por la mueca de mi cara, pero no fui capaz de sentirla. Imparable, sí, imparable le llaman, el dolor incompatible de las sonrisas juzgadas. Nace cada vez que lloras, pero luego limpias tu cara, te dices que estás bien pero solo te engañas. ¿De qué sirve el sufrimiento cuando de él no nace ninguna flor? Ni siquiera un sentimiento o un abrazo para aliviar el dolor. ¿De qué sirve llorar si no hay consuelo? Si sabes que nadie llorará contigo, quedaras en ridículo y es solo el principio de un temible castigo. Esos viernes en la tarde, siempre lindos y añorables ¿de qué sirve tanta fiesta, tanto alcohol y tanto humo? Si sabes que solo te escondes, lo respiras pero dices "no fumo". Así como así, te estás haciendo daño, el rechazo es otra mirada ciega, que no te engañe la risa en vela. Llegar a casa es un sueño cuando sostienes por tanto tiempo ese corazón roto en la pista de baile de un antro viejo. Ya no importa quién te vea, pero sí importa lo que piensan, dirán que eres débil, lo sabes y te aterra. Me encerré y me volví a herir, aunque cueste admitirlo esto siempre es sufrir. El miedo implantado en las pupilas negras de tus ojos cafés, como un bebestible atento de lo que vayas a hacer. El temblar de tus miembros, sin descanso ni relevo. Cuando comienzo a temblar sé que te acercas o me acerco. Bloquear a la gente, no relatar a nadie el sufrimiento de la noche pasada. Como una sombra horrible, una silueta abandonada, se esconde en el armario y desaparece sin decir nada. Pero aún así, dime tú, que lo sabes todo ¿De qué sirve tanto amor, si aún no te cuento todo este dolor?

No creo que nadie merezca sentir que su corazón se detiene cada vez que comete un pequeño error.

My

is there a inside out fandom because i just watched the second one i cried so hard

Some days I'm completely fine, I'll be able to do all the tasks I set for myself I'll laugh and be free from my own burdens.

Then there's days I wish I can be asleep for a month or two just so I can hope someone may reach out because I need help.

I just realised that chances, that they all hate me is high.

Someone told me that our break up wasn’t correct. Yes a little bit that’s right because I screamed at you. But I said all the things you did to me. All the harassment. But you don’t like to hear this words so you decided to create your own story of this shit. Your story only protects you from what you did.

I am sure you did this and that means that all my past friends must hate me now. This feels like I am the wrong person. I am the problem, and it costs me so much Energie to ignore all this voices.

But:

YOU NO LONGER HAVE ANY POWER OVER ME!

i’m f*cking angel 🪽🫧

Is it weird to reblog all the art I like? My social anxiety stretches all the way through to tumblr somehow.😰

" You look in the mirror and see yourself, but really, it's not you at all. I mean, there's your eyes and your nose and your cute little smile, but that's not all there is to you. Because you're not seeing the amount of lives you've touched with your presence. You're not seeing all the people you've made smile and laugh. You're not seeing how strong you are. In fact, all the battles you've overcome are completely invisible when you look in the mirror, hidden beneath your outside features. So, my darling, listen to me when I say this : you are not as simple as a reflection. You are complex, wonderful and something brilliant that a mirror simply does not have the capability to show. It's only showing one tree in the forest, one star in a galaxy, one grain of sand at the beach. And you are so much more than that. Please believe it. "

feeling anxiously inclined to curl up into a ball for the next month 🎀

I have been always been the person to cringe every time I have to appear in front of people either live or virtually in a video. I always cringe hearing myself speak. I grew up being bullied and made fun of for the way I looked. I mean it wasn’t my fault. So I grew up a very anxious and super self conscious child. I was diagnosed with ADHD last year. In the past few months I really always saw myself looking good and people always complimented me. I never believe them, I always thought they are saying that because they have good and kind hearts. Recently I’ve been feeling horrible because my Fibro is making me gain so much weight and I’ve been body shaming myself without even realizing. When I said that to an old friend of mine, he said that my face is coming out and i look good. After him, 2 of my other friends said that as well. I’m here to tell you that you need to let go of the opinions of those that looked down on you and start embracing the ones that elevate you and make you feel better. I believe this is a start of healing. I feel like I’ve been holding myself back because of what an 8 year old said 16 years ago. I no longer care. It feels good to feel good about yourself. It really does.

🧡

Anxiety with tail is kinda hot

I'm not sure if I'm crazy but...

Does anyone experience this very deep feeling of euphoria sometimes after a particularly bad anxiety wave?

Like, sometimes for me, I'll just be stressing myself out about something and then, the next day, I'll be calmer and everything will just feel so bright and so light.

I feel so happy for just existing that I'll just lay on my floor and laugh, really laugh, just because I exist.

And I really don't want to be alone in that.

Here is part two of self deprecating memes! Because you know what better way is there to cope?

The walls kept tumbling down in the city that we loved..

Ya know I really want to type out happy things. I want to write that I'm happy, my grades are up, my attendance is top notch, my professors are amazing, haven't been sick in a while, that I'm FANTASTIC!!

But that's the thing, I'm not. And I know that there's quite a lot of people out there right now, probably not reading this, feeling this way.

I'm scared. Simply put, I'm scared.

I'm so scared for what's to come that I'm not able to live my now and I dont even know what even IS coming..

My 2nd sem starts tomorrow, and I tried to open my book and I just blank. I dont know what I'm going to do in class. I'm scared to even drop my course, because if I do, what next? What new course can i do? I cant not have a college degree, right? Will I be okay if I dont have a college degree?

I've been tried so hard to catch up to something that I dont even know, I've forgotten whom I used to be..

But if you closed your eyes, does it almost feel nothing's changed at all ...

There are these small pockets, small moments when for a small while I forget about my impending doom and I feel calm. Just for a little bit.

Then the walls come tumbling down again...

Tell me how am I gonna be an optimistic about this ..